An Unexpected Way to Meet My Donor Family. - by Daniel Ahern

I guess I always believed that I would attempt to meet my donor family if I was lucky enough. One day in late October of 2017, I was extremely blessed to receive a heart transplant. It was an incredibly stressful time that morning as the process started. The nurses came into my room and said they had some great news for me—they believed there was a heart that I may be compatible with! More tests had to be performed to ensure we were a match. I called my family to the hospital, and we spent the day wondering, questioning, and hoping.

At 11:30 that night, the nurses said, “We’re taking you to surgery.” 

Ten days later, I left the hospital very weak, but in good spirits and incredibly happy to go home. In six months, I would be able to write to my donor family. Months went by, and I thought I would write them. I needed to write them. Oh my, what could I write to this poor family that had just lost a loved one? It was clearly their worst day compared to my best day. What could I possibly tell them? What would they want to hear from me? Would they be ready to hear from me? It was all extremely unclear and stressful.

I was finally was able to put together a short letter. Keeping it to one page, I expressed my sorrow for their loss. I told them a little about myself and asked for permission to contact them.

In April 2018, I was volunteering at the Gift of Hope table at Loyola Hospital, just before the candlelight ceremony. A nurse pulled me off to the side and handed me a letter, explaining it was from my donor family. I was overwhelmed and did not expect a response so soon. I may not have been ready. It was a day or so later when I could open the letter.   

Over the next month, we communicated back and forth and agreed to meet around the Christmas Holiday so that their son at school could join the meeting too.

At a Gift of Hope volunteering session at the Itasca headquarters, my daughter, Katelyn, and I were going to help. We arrived early and were sitting at a table on the far side of the room, getting to know a few of the other volunteers along with a Gift of Hope staff member. I was wearing a Cubs shirt at the time and genuinely felt like no one had the right idea about the best baseball team in the world. Another couple walked into the room, and sure enough, the husband was wearing a Cubs shirt. So, the Gift of Hope representative politely asked them to sit by the other Cub fans, not knowing who we were to each other. In the meantime, my daughter was kicking me under the table, trying to get my attention. 

I could see the staff get together on the other side of the room. At this time, the other couple was asked to leave the room. Katelyn proceeded to inform me she believed they were my donor family. Shortly thereafter, we were also asked to go out into the hallway. I was asked if I was willing to meet my donor family and was told that they wanted to meet me today. I think my response was something like, “Hell, yeah!”

It was amazing. Gift of Hope had set up a meeting room for us, and we were able to take all the time we needed to introduce ourselves. After the teary introduction, Karen and Ron were able to hear their son’s heart through my chest.   

Shortly after, we were invited back into the volunteer room for lunch. After the meal, anyone who wished to speak of their journey was invited to do so. I remember it was about to be our turn when Karen leaned over to me and asked if she could talk about our story. Nodding my head, I was thinking, “Oh yes, yes, please."

About a month later, we met again. This time, all of Miles’s organ recipients in the area and their families were able to attend. We celebrated Miles (our donor) and our incredible gifts. It was a great night! Since then, we've stayed in touch with emails and phone calls.

Several months later, we all attended a Cubs game at Wrigley field on Miles’s birthday. The Cubs organization was very supportive and presented our group with many souvenirs of the Chicago Cubs.   

I highly recommend to everyone to contact your donor family, and if you haven’t been able to, continue to try. It will make a lasting memory for you and possibly new friends. After meeting Ron, Karen, Sean, and Kyle I now have a larger family, and I know we will continue to develop a long-lasting relationship.

I always thought that receiving a new heart was one of the best things in my life, but now I know the most important is family.